Anger

Writhe it open

Break the bone

Snap the spine

Cut the wrist

Chop the head

Slice the throat

 

Drink the blood

Expose yourself

Contemplate your feelings

Go back and forth

Help your misery

Succumb to your selfdestruction

 

Why do ghosts surround me?

Superficial ghosts.

Hyped, genetic.

This is my blood.

This is my way to bleed

‘cuz I can bleed in no other way.

I can tell the difference between fiction and fantasy.

I’m not insane.

I’m not even emo,

Maybe just permanently depressed.

Manic-depressive.

Up and down.

Go forth and back

until you’re stuck in a spiral

equal to everybody else’s.

 

I don’t wanna feel this but I can’t let go,

Can’t escape this great empty pitch,

Dark as a cavern under mountains.

In this hollow place I call my heart,

The vastness of death is taking over,

And I don’t wanna bleed but I do.

 

Empty pages, hollow like my cavern

I stare at them for hours

Hoping for enlightenment

Nothing appears.

I spend hours, days,

weeks staring holes in space

Hoping for redemption

Nothing happens.

 

And when something happens

It always makes my heart jump and ache

Because nothing happens in between.

Annoyance, restlessness, darkness,

Why can’t I just be happy for once in my life

Without risking the murder of another soul?

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